Kettle bells.

I did my first kettle bell workout today.  Yikes!  It was a great workout!  I didn't feel clumsy, I didn't feel intimidated, and I got a great workout!  I did it with a regular dumb bell, which was fine, they showed someone usuing one in the video.  I do think that I need to get an 8 pound weight for it, which is something I have been considering getting for other workouts.  I love Jillian Michaels, and the work out was her 30 Shred Weights.

I realized something today.  I was feeling yucky, and tired, and generally kind of blah.  Joce had a Brown Sugar and Cinnamon Pop Tart today.  She ate one, so one was left in the package.  I decided that I wanted to eat the other one.  Who cares if I have one Pop Tart?  What will it hurt?  I was going to have it after my work out.  If I did my work out.  Yeah, it wasn't a great morning.  So, I did motivate myself to do my workout, and I was starving after my shower.  I felt so good after that work out, I didn't want to ruin it with a Pop Tart.  Doing my work out has a positive effect on my entire day.  I have to keep pushing myself, and the more I do it, the easier it will become to make the time for it.  I am so proud of myself.  It would be so easy for me to quit.  To start eating badly again.  But, I keep going, even when I slip up, and that is a big step for me.

On the slip up front, being at my moms was not good for my diet.  I wasn't there 5 minutes before I mindlessly ate an Almond Joy.  I didn't even think about it, just put it in my mouth and ate it.Why do I do this every time I am at my moms?!?  I think it is habit.  When I was younger, I used to smoke.  A lot.  I did not tell my family about it for years.  When I would go home for a weekend, I would eat constantly, because I couldn't smoke.  I thin that it is so ingrained in me that I can't stop it because I don't even realize that I am doing it.  I am spending 3 days at her house next week, so I am going to have to be hyper-vigilant about what I am eating.  I want to keep going forward, not trip myself up.

Tuesday, week 2 in Review

I have not posted in a couple of days.  Have you missed me, dear Readers?!?  Do you hear that?  It's crickets chirping.  That is because I have no readers!  So, why do I keep posting?  Because I find it to be helpful to my weight loss journey, and you have to do what works for you.  So, my lowest weight this week was 203, and today I weighed in at 205.5.  Do you all know what 203 lbs. means?!?  It means that for the first time in the 7+ years that Eric and I have been together, I weigh less than he does!  Sad but true!  I think that means I am down a total of 14 lbs.  My size 16 jeans are getting baggy!  Do you know the last time I bought a size 14?!?  I don't either!  But, I am pretty sure it was sometime in the 90's.  Again, sad but true.

Today, I did Jillian Michaels Last Chance Wort out.  It is rough!  I wish that it had a more intense ab circuit, but overall, it is a good workout.  I will add it to my list of favorites! 

I am going to my mom's for the night.  That is always a test of my will power, because she has more junk food than you can imagine.  I really hope she doesn't have any Oreos.  I have been craving them, and I may not be able to resist.  Wish me luck, I may need it!

The weekend.

I weighed in at 206 today.  Yes, I am up a little.  It seems like I drop a couple pounds quickly, then go up a little, then drop lower, then up again, and down again, and on and on.  I did a great job yesterday, diet-wise.  Good workouts, stayed on my diet.  And I got to meet Jennifer Crusie!!  That was so exciting!

I have to work all day today.  Blech.  We are going to a concert tomorrow, and I have the whole day off!  That is awesome!  Hopefully, today will go fast and be very profitable!  As always, I am trying to make a food plan for work.  There is so much that I can grab to eat that is bad for me, and not a lot that is good for me.  I just have to stay focused and not eat a bread stick!!! 

Ouch.

My foot is killing me today!  I really don't know what to do about it.  I ran Perry to school today, and I put my work insoles in my running shoes.  It helped, but my foot s still killing me.  I walk with a terrible limp when I stand up from a sitting position.  I am going to order new work shoes.  My work shoes seem to be a big part of the problem, and my job in general.  My mom said she got me some really cushy heel pads for my work shoes.  Hopefully that will help, too.

I forgot to weigh myself this morning!  Which may be a blessing in disguise, since I ate 2 pieces (very skinny ones!) of the snicker doodle cookie cake that I made from scratch at MOPS yesterday.  It was really good, but, and I can't believe I am about to say this, was a little too sweet.  The problem with that is, I had one skinny piece to try it.  After all, I did make it from scratch, and I never bake anything from scratch.  I was perfectly happy with that.  Then Eric upset me.  And he kept up with the shitty attitude, upsetting me more.  I was so mad, I ate another piece of cookie cake.  I didn't even want it.  I know that I am an emotional eater, and I really do need to work on that.  I need to learn a new way to deal with that kind of stuff, instead of eating comfort food.  I did run Perry to school today, and I did the short version of Jillian Michaels Trouble Zones.  I really don't like the short version, but I love the regular length version.  The short version doesn't give me as much of a work out as I would like.  The regular version makes it hard for me to wash my hair and shave my legs because my muscles are so sore and tired!  But, alas, they only have the short version On Demand, and my DVD player isn't hooked up right.  Something I really to to do something about, since all of my favorite workouts are about to expire on On Demand, and I have them all on DVD.

Tomorrow I have to work, most likely another 12 hour shift.  Good for calorie burning, hella bad for my poor feet.  I did buy some Lean Cuisine meals, so I can have them when I get home, since I don't like to eat there twice a day.  The low fat options are very limited, and I don't like them all.

Also, I am so excited.  I am going to see Jennifer Crusie do a book reading and signing tonight!!  I love her!

Woo hoo, I hit my first goal!!

Yep, that's right!  I weighed in at 204 this morning!  I am surprised, since that scale has been moving the wrong way this week!  It makes me feel good that I stuck to it even though things did not seem to be working.  Pat on the back for me, I am really proud of myself!

My next goal is 198 lbs.  That is one pound less than I was when I graduated from Pitt.  Not sure what The next goal after that will be.  Most likely it will be 190, for no apparent reason!  Then it will be 185, which is my first tentative end goal. 

So, I went to my MOPS meeting this morning.  I knew it would be very hard to say no to all of the tempting offerings.  I did pretty well.  Mostly, I ate fruit.  Mostly.  I did have one pumpkin cookie.  Boy, was it good!  I am not beating myself up over it.  It was one cookie, not a couple.  I did not have a bagel and cream cheese. which  really wanted.  Or a chocolate chip cookie.  Or a doughnut.  They were all there for the taking, but I decided to have one sweet treat, and only one.  And I did only have one!  You can't say no to everything all the time.  A treat every once in a while keeps me sane!!  It also keeps me from a binge!

Goal #1 has been achieved!  Here I come, goal #2!!!!!

You have got to be freaking kidding me!

I weighed in at 208.5 today.  WHAT?!?  I am UP 3.5 lbs this week!  How is this happening?!?  I am working out, drinking my water, and barely eating!  I don't understand this.  or a minute I entertained the idea that muscle weighs more than fat, and maybe I had built a lot of muscle and that accounted for the gain.  I quickly discarded the idea  after looking down.  I have not built that much muscle this week.  It is so discouraging.  I really really wanted to say screw it today.  I might as well at least deserve what I am gaining, right?  Luckily, it is early enough in this journey that I still have the fighting spirit.  I did Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred, and am now having my Slim Fast.  I am trying to remain positive.  I am hoping that I am bloated because it is that time of the month, and that things will be back on track in a couple of days,

My foot is killing me.  Jumping jacks are not my friend, but especially not today.  Now, not only do my heel and the side of mt foot hurt, but also my ankle and calf.  Erg.  Not really sure what to do about it.  Maybe ask my chiropractor about it, since he is the only doctor I see on a regular basis.  Maybe I will ice it today and see if that helps.  I am going to try to keep my chin up and my mouth shut today.

Tuesday

So, I am a little discouraged.  I am up a pound and a half today, 206.5.  How did that happen?  I worked out yesterday, I drank all my water, and I barely ate anything!  Not that I did that on purpose, but that's how it worked out.  My calorie intake was very low yesterday.  It made me want to say screw it today, why bother?  But, so far, so good.  I did a very intense workout with Jackie Warner.  I have only had my coffee and my Slim Fast, and water.  It will be a good day!

I think I am going to get myself a little treat today!  I need some new make up, and found some really pretty stuff at Victoria's Secret.  Maybe in a few weeks, I will be able to get myself another treat at Victoria's Secret, but that is a whole other ball game!!  I always feel better when I wear makeup, so time to shop!!

Week 1 in Review

One week down!  I weighed in at 205 today, which means I have lost 12 lbs this week!  Woo Hoo!!!  I am very proud of myself!  There are also some positive changes in my body.  As I was shaving my legs this morning, the noticed that the curve of muscle in my thigh is coming back.  And my arms have more definition, they were getting flabby again.  My work pants are falling down again, and my belt is on the last loop.  I feel so encouraged.  If I can do that in one week, imagine what I can do in the next 12 weeks!

I am very proud of myself for doing my work out today, which was Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred.  I am exhausted.  I worked 22 hours in 2 days this weekend.  Eric was up late on the phone with work, and kept me up.  The alarm went off at 5 a.m. for him to go to work.  I fell back to sleep, only to be awoken 15 minutes later to a screaming Jocelynn.  I had hoped she would lay down with me and go back to sleep, but no such luck.  An hour or so later, she did lay down and watch TV.  I fell asleep for about 20 minutes, and she woke me again.  She finally laid down with me at about 7 and fell asleep, only to have Perry get up at 7:15.  Tired and cranky doesn't even begin to describe me today. 

I also need to find some new recipes.  I need some more variety in what I make for dinner.  I am going to go to some of my favorite websites and see what I can find today.  Time to head to the library, see ya tomorrow!!

Sunday, Bloody Sunday

Long day at work yesterday.  I am very proud of myself, though.  I did a great job sticking to my diet!  I had a plain grilled chicken breast with tropical fruit salsa and a fruit salad for lunch.  Because of a sewage back up at work, I decided not to eat dinner there.  I had a Lean Cuisine Steakhouse Flat bread when I got home, and treated myself to a chocolate covered pretzel 100 calorie pack.  Today, I weighed in at 206!  I am down 11 pounds, and 2 pounds from my first goal of 204!  I am pretty impressed that I didn't sneak a bread stick at work, and it paid off!   Hopefully, today will be a shorter day at work.  Steelers play at 1, so it will probably be a slow day.

I have to say thanks you to my friends and family for all the support and positive feed back!  It helps me more than you will ever know!!

Hi-ho, hi-ho, it's off to work I go.

I hate Saturday morning.  I have to be at work at 10:30 a.m., and don't leave until 10 or 11.  I don't get to see my kids until the next morning.  Eric is usually asleep when I get home.  I don't have time to go to any yard sales or flea markets.  If I have a shower or anything to go to, I have to put in to get the day off weeks in advance, and pray that I get it off. 

But, I do have to say that I choose to do this job.  It is a crappy job, and it is incredibly hard on my body, but there is no other job that I can make this much money in the amount of time.  That is the plus side.  I make almost as much working 2 days a week as a waitress as I did working full time as a preschool teacher.  And I get to spend 5 days a week at home with my babies.

So, what does all this have to do with anything?!?  Good question, thanks for asking!  How do I stay on my diet while at work?  I am still working through that one.  I have work a pedometer to work, and on average I walk at least 10 miles on a double shift.  But what do I eat?  Another good question.  Usually, I order something for lunch, and immeadiately put half in a box in the cooler so I can have it for dinner.  I always get fruit salad for my side.  But, we don't have a lot to offer on the Guilt Free menu.  I can't eat the Hula salad evryday.  First off, I don't really like the fat free honey mustard dressing, and you need a little dressing.  I do love the Caribbean chicken, with broccoli and fruit, but I think it is too expensive.  I have discovered that I can order from the kids menu, and grilled chicken is an option.  I may do that today.

The problem is when you get so hungry that you need to eat a snack quick.  Thew easiest thing to grab?  A breadstick, and dipping it in blue cheese dressing is divine.  Do you have any idea how may calories and grams of fat that is?!?  It is insane!  Or, saltine cracker and dip them in butter.  I wish I could get to the celery sticks, but you have to ask a cook for those, and they get cranky about it.  I sometimes will grab fruit, but I eat so much of it there, that I need to watch myself.

So, here is my other dilemma.  What do I have for breakfast, since I don't get to eat until about three o'clock.  I should have a Slim Fast, but scrambled with cheese and turkey bologna sounds to good right now!  And the protein would get me through to lunch.  But, I do burn a good amount of calories at work, so the Slim Fast is a better option.  Dilemma.  Since I am so lazy, and rushed for time, I will probably go for the Slim Fast.  By the way, I love chocolate Slim Fast!!  It is not hard for me to stick to Slim Fast, because I love it!  The only problem is that I can only get the original formula in a generic, and only in chocolate, so I can't get any other flavors to change it up, because it adds 4 grams of fat per shake, which is craziness!

Okay, enough rambling.  Time to get ready for work.  Have a good day, everyone!

Rainy days and Fridays always get me down.

It is raining again, and it is cold.  I am feeling very blah today.  To make it worse, I feel like I haven't seen Eric in weeks.  He got home from work last night after we were all in bed and left again before we woke up.  He has had to work late every night this week.  Since I work weekends, I leave in the morning and get home after everyone is in bed.  It sucks.  I realized last night how much of an emotional eater I am.  As soon as Eric told me how late he was going to be, I immeadiately wanted to eat.  When I went to bed, I ate 2 100 calorie snack packs, one chocolate covered pretzels and one snack mix.  I know, it could have been a lot worse, but I usually have yogurt as a nighttime snack.  Today, I am up half a pound, and I am a bit of an emotional mess.  I miss my husband, and I really haven't seen anyone but my kids all week.  I am lonely, and that isn't helping.

So, I didn't workout today.  My foot hurts so bad that I am limping today.  I am looking at at least a 12 hour day at work tomorrow, and about the same on Sunday.  My mom keeps yelling at me to go to a podiatrist, but of course, I haven't make an appointment.  I probably should have sucked it up and worked out, but all of the workouts that I do hurt my foot in some way, and I just couldn't bring myself to do it.  I suck.

Rainy day

What is it about rainy days that make me feel so blah?!?  I really am a sunny, warm weather kind of person.  I know what you are thinking, why the heck do I live in Pittsburgh, then?!?  Haha, maybe someday we will live in a better climate, but this is where we will be for a long time.

So I weighed in at 208.5 this morning.  Down another pound and a half!  My entire body is sore from my Jackie Warner workout yesterday, and I love the feeling!  Today I did The 10 Pound Slim Down Core workout with Chris Freytag.  It was pretty intense!  My abs are feeling it already!  The only thing I wonder is why so many trainers do side planks.  I cannot do them!  Maybe down the road I will be able to, but not yet!!

Eric and I were talking about my weight chart last night, and he pointed out that I hadn't written any goals on it.  He asked what my goal was.  I told him 175, and he seems to think that it to low to start with.  He thinks my goal should be 185, and then start a new chart Jan.1 with my new goal.  I think it may be a good idea.  That way, if I surpass my goal of 185, then I am ahead of the game.  If I set it at 175 and don't make it, I may say screw the whole thing!  So, my new revised goal is 185 by my 35th birthday.  So I can eat my cake and not feel guilty!!!!!

Sad Realizations

Today I weighed in a 210.  I am down 7.5 lbs in 2 days.  It kind of makes me sad to realize that I have been taking such lousy care of myself that this is even possible.  I also realized that all the muscle tone I was so proud of is gone.  My arms and legs, especially my thighs, had definition that I was really proud of having.  My tummy was even flat.  Not that I had a six pack or anything, but a flat tummy after having 2 babies is something to be proud of!

So, I wasn't feeling very good this morning.  I was really tempted to lay down and nap while Jocelynn was napping.  I didn't.  I got myself ready and did Jackie Warner's Total Body Circuit. Forty-five minutes of muscle burning wonder.  I still feel a little crappy, but better than I did before.  I am also proud that I did the workout at all.  I know that for me to lose weight, I have to stick to my diet and workout everyday.  Everyday!  It seems like a hassle, but the more I do it, the more routine it becomes, the easier it will be to do.  I have to say, I am already feeling a little sore!  But, I love that feeling.  It means that I am pushing myself, and doing something good. 

I am 35 pounds from my goal of 175, and about three and a half months to do it in.  Yikes!  I am off to a good start, I hope that I can keep up the momentum!

New Day, New Weight Chart

So, as of yesterday, I am officially dieting again.  I out a new weight chart up on the fridge.  This is a great tool for me.  If I have to look at it while looking for something to eat, it helps me to make better decisions.  If the numbers are not good, or if the numbers are really good, it makes me want to stick to my diet.  I went to the grocery store today, and got good things to eat that will help me stick to a diet, and lose some weight.  I hope!


Yesterday, I weighed in at 217 lbs.  Yikes!!  That is the first time I have ever publically admitted my weight!  Scary!  I also did Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred.  Boy, am I sore today, and I have to say, I love being sore after a good workout!   I weighed in today at 212.5 lbs.  Can I have really lost that much in one day?!?  Have I really been eating that much and being that lazy lately?  Even scarier than admitting what I weigh to the cyber-world.  I plan to run/jog/walk to pick Perry up from school today.  I haven't done that since June, so it will be interesting!

So, what is my goal?  I have given myself until my Birthday, December 31 (my 35th, in case you were wondering).  How much do I want to lose?  I should say that I want to be 175 lbs.  I want to say 185, because that seems more attainable, but I think I should push myself, and go with 175.  I have already lost about 25 lbs, so I think I can do this.  I am hoping that blogging will help me, too.  Again, being held accountable to someone or something will help me stay on track.

I am going to breakdown my total goal into smaller goals.  My first goal is 203, which is the lowest I weighed before vacation this year!  After that, my goal is 198, 1 pound less than I weighed when I graduated from college.  I will figure out more smaller goals, but those are my first two.  Wish me luck!