Better Day

I finally got some sleep last night!  Joce seems to be getting into a better sleep routine, sleeping through the night until about 7:45 a.m.!  It is blissful!  I have decided that today will be a better day.  Mind over matter!  Have you ever seen the Nutri-Grain commercial that shows the woman having the Nutri-Grain bar for breakfast, and it inspires her to make better choices all day?  It is kind of an inspiration to me.  I did Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred today.  The first time I have worked out in almost 2 weeks.  I am proud that I did it, because I was kind of thinking that I would write off this whole week and start over on Monday.  I have to tell myself every day that it is a new day, no matter how bad the day before may have been.  It felt good to work out.  It felt good to sweat.  It felt good to breathe hard.  It felt good to feel my muscles burn.  I just have to remember how good that feels, when I am feeling lazy.

I have realized that I am a self sabotager.  I am really good at talking myself out of things that require work and dedication.  You can't fail if you never really try, right?!?  I feel like there are so many things in my life that I have failed at, that if I don't try, I won't have to add another thing to the list of things that I have screwed up.  I mean really, I am an almost 35 year old waitress.  That really bugs me for some reason, but at the same time, I do the job that I do because it allows me to stay at home with my kids.  I only have to work 2 days a week, and there is no other job that I can make the amount of money that I do as waitressing.  So, why do I feel like it makes me a failure?!?  Good question.  I guess I expected to be some sort of successful professional at this point, or a full time stay at home mom.  I do what I have to do for my family, and I should be proud of myself for that, but for some reason, it makes me feel like a failure.  But I love my kids more than anything, and I hope that I am a good mom to them.  Time will tell, but I do know that my kids love me, and I know that their needs are being met by people who love and adore them.

Okay, getting a little blue again, so time to go and enjoy my sore muscles!