Action taken!

Yesterday went awesome!  I ate well all day, and I did Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred Level 2!  My butt is sore today, woo hoo!  So, I weighed myself this morning for the first time in a month, 196.6.  Not as bad as I thought it was going to be, only up 2 pounds from my last weigh in.  Not great, mind you, but I thought it was going to be a lot worse!  I went grocery shopping last night, got lots of fruit!  Yum!  Lots of yogurt too, Yum again!  I am a little worried.  Wal Mart makes a generic Slim Fast of the original formula, which I love.  It only has 2 grams of fat, as opposed to the Ultra's 5 grams.  If they stop making it, I will have to switch to the Ultra, which means adding 3 grams of fat per shake than what I have been doing.  Not cool!  I am hoping they were just out of it for the week, and it will be back next time I look, but that is never my luck!  Everything I love gets discontinued!

I have to say, even after just one day of being back on the healthy track, I feel soooo much better!  I was putting so much junk into my body that I was feeling like junk.  So self destructive!  I am glad that I am taking control and putting good stuff into my body, and working my body to make it stronger!  I am refocusing myself, and recommitting to a better lifestyle for my family! 

Time for action!

After last week's stomach bug running rampant through our house, I am hoping for a better week!  And part of that better week involves me getting back on track!  I know, I know, I have said it all before.  But, I have become soft and squishy again.  Yuck!  I miss my muscle tone, and I want it back!  I miss my work outs with Jillian and Jackie.  I miss the sense of accomplishment that I feel when I am done. I miss the muscle soreness.  I miss the feeling of strength when I eat something healthy instead of junk.  I want it back!


I have had a stressful couple of weeks, to say the least.  When I am stressed, I eat horribly, and have a tendency to lay around .  The exhaustion I have felt is made 100 times worse when I do this.  I am going to be tired either way, I might as well do my work outs and feel better, than lay in a pool of my own misery.  Again, my biggest problem with my work outs is when to do them.  I would like to do them in the morning, so I can shower, do my hair and makeup, and be ready for the rest of my day.  I hate showering in the afternoon!  I have to get a TV to put in Perry's room, so I can take his in the basement and work out down there.  I am working on it.  Until then, I can't use it as an excuse, and I just have to suck it up and deal with afternoon work outs. 

On the subject of being stressed out, I have really begun to see my friends in a new light, in good ways and bad.  There are people who have been my friend for a long time, and I am so happy that I have had their support and strength to rely on.  In the same token, there are also people who have shown me what good, loyal friends they are, and I feel closer to them because of it, and I am so glad they are now in my life.  I also have to say I am disappointed that friends that I thought would be there and are not.  Part of what I have been feeling sad about is the realization that people I thought were good friends are no longer, and I miss them and their friendship.  It is sad to know this, but I am also happy to know I have met people in the last few years that have become good friends, that I can talk to and feel comforted by.  I kind of feel like I am starting a new phase of my life, learning more about who I am, who I want to become, and how the people around me effect that.  I look forward to seeing how I turn out!

All talk, no action.

Wow, I was so inspired when I wrote my last post!  For about 5 minutes, it seems.  I Have worked out once in the last month.  My muscle tone is gone.  My belly is gooshy.  I am exhausted and feel crappy all the time.  Here we go again: time to make a change.  There have been some things going on in my life that have been causing me an immense amount of stress, and I am a hard core emotional eater.  The stress that is eating me up is causing me to eat everything up.  I hate it, I hate that I do it, but I really just don't even know I am doing it sometimes.  Perry has been sick this week, so things have been very thrown off.  He is going back to school tomorrow, so I hope to get a work out in, and get back on track.  So, once again, here we go!

Sometimes You Need A Good Forehead Smack!

So, I felt yucky this morning.  In fact, that was my status update on FB.  Someone commented, "Kristin, you're perpetually sick. Clearly your apple intake is lacking."  And there is the forehead smack!  Of course!  My eating has been crap the last couple weeks.  And guess what?!?  I have felt like crap the last couple of weeks!  Duh!  My personality is very extreme, I am am all-or-nothing kind of girl.  That is particularly problematic when it come to my diet.  If I am "dieting" I am super strict, and don't allow myself any room for error.  If I am off my diet, I am completely off.  I eat all "bad" food, and I don't eat any of the healthy food, because AI "don't want to waste it on a bad day."  Ridiculous, I know.  So, if the morning starts off bad, I go bad all day, and don't eat any of my healthy food.  I didn't realize how off my diet I have been until I looked in my fruit drawer and had to throw away all the grapes and pears because they were rotten.  What a waste of fruit and money.  I have to learn that I can still eat well, and have a slip up.  I should be eating mostly good food, even if there is some bad stuff in my day.  You are what you eat, and that was made very clear to me today.


So, this morning, I had a peanut granola bar while getting Perry ready for school, and a Piece of banana bread with butter with my coffee, and the a dark chocolate granola thin later on.  That is when I said I was feeling yucky.  After I realized what I had been doing, I had an apple and a fat free yogurt for lunch.  I felt better almost immediately!  I realized how badly I had been treating my body, eating badly, not working out, not drinking enough water.  After I put Joce to bed, I worked out!  I did Jackie Warner Full Body Circuit.  It was hard, but it felt great!  I posted yesterday about getting the basement ready so I can work out down there.  I seriously planned to stop working out until I got it done and the TV down there.  So dumb!  I have to realize that if I cannot change my situation, I have to learn to how to live in that situation.  Yes, it will take a while to be able to work out down there, and no, I still don't like showering in the afternoon, but until I get things situated, that is what I will have to do.  And that is okay!  Not ideal, but I can do it until I can change my situation.  


I am feeling so inspired right now!  I was feeling so defeated yesterday, I am so glad that today happened!  I am going to get back to treating my body well, with good food, exercise, and lots of water!  I will learn how to create a happy medium in my diet, and continue to strive for good health!

Need to make a change.

So my routine is no longer working for me.  Erg.  I have been working out during Joce's afternoon nap, around 1:00.  Then I shower and do my hair.  The problem is that I haven't been sleeping well.  I am doing a lot in the morning so that I get it done, because my afternoon's are a fog of exhaustion.  As far as my work outs go, I haven't in almost 2 weeks.  I am just so tired, and I feel like I have so many other things to do that never get done.  I would like to start working out in the morning so I can shower and be ready for the day.  I will have less chance to come up with excuses, it will be done, and I will feel better the rest of the day.  The problem is, when and where?  I don't want to do it before I get the kids up, since I will probably wake everyone up.  And if I wait till after I drop Perry off for the bus, I can't use the living room because Joce will be all over me.  The solution is the basement.  We have a TV with a built in DVD player in Perry's room.  It would be perfect in the basement.  Eric's aunt offered us TV's for the kids room's, so I will be able to move it down there as soon as we can get them, which is the hold up.  I also need to get the basement finished so I have the space I need, and I can put a movie on for Joce in the living room and she will give me the space and time that I need.  I hope!  So, I have not put any weight back on, and I have a plan to get back on track, but it may take time.  My plan is to at least get the basement finished so I can get one thing checked off the list, and maybe not feel so useless.

I need to lose 20 pounds in 3 months?!? Bring it on!

As usual, I have fallen off the wagon onto a soft pile of doughnuts!  But, I have continued to work out, so all is not lost.  I have been working out 3 to 5 times every week, so although my eating has sucked, my weight has maintained.  Weigh in this morning was 195.4.  Eric has been not so subtly reminding me that I have not been following my diet.  I know I shouldn't have Halloween Oreo's for a bed time snack, but after my work out today I felt like throwing up.  I had left over homemade Stromboli for lunch, and it did not sit well after my awesome work out, Jillian Michael's new DVD, Killer Buns and Thighs!  I really loved the work out!  I sweat up a storm, I felt the burn, and shook my way through it!  I will enjoy this one!  So, I may polish off the Oreo's tonight, (Come on!  They are Halloween Oreo's!!!) tomorrow I am back on the wagon!  I can still hit my goal by Eric's Birthday!  I realized after my work out how badly I have treated my body by going over board, so I did some nice things for myself, instead of beating myself up.  I used baby oil in the shower, and really, is there any better feeling than baby oiled skin?!?  I gave my self half of a pedicure, I will paint them this afternoon.  I am back, and I am ready to go!!!!

My 100th post!

For some reason, I am feeling a lot of pressure since this is my 100th post.  So, to say things that I would like to say, I am going to quote Jillian Michales.  This is what she says during the cool down of Shred It With Weights, Level 2, which I tried for the first time today, and loved it!  Very hard, but I will keep at it!

"Mentally, you want to take a minute and give yourself props for focusing on you for a little while out of this day.  We are so busy taking care of everyone else, all the time. Family, friends, kids, spouses.  And, women especially, never take the time to put themselves first.  And that is what working out is really about.  It's about taking that time, focusing on you, being the best you can be, making sure that you are strong, and you are confident, and you are healthy.  Because when YOU are good, everyone else will be good around you.  When you focus on you, and you make your health a priority, there will be more of you to give for more years to come...  All of this spiritual talk is great and everything, but at the end of the day, there is nothing like a pair of Skinny Jeans!"  And this is why I love Jillian Michaels so much!

I am doing this for my kids, the loves of my life, the reason I wake up in the morning, my whole world!  I lost my father when I was 16, and honestly, it is not something I will ever get over.  I don't want my kids to cry at any important event in their lives because I am not there to share it with them.  I want to be here for them as long a possible.  I want to be a role model for them, especially for Joce.  I don't ever want her to feel about herself the way I have at points in my life.  I want to show them that being healthy is good!  That working out is fun, and necessary!  That you have to put work into things that you want to be good.  I hope that my kids look up to me.  I hope that I am around for a long time, to be there for them.  So I will keep getting back up when I fall down.  I will never give up.  I will be the best mother, wife, friend, sister and daughter that I can be.  Everyday.

Speed Bumps.

We all hit them.  I feel like maybe I hit more than most on my diet journey!  I wasn't feeling well again yesterday.  Instead of working out and having a Slim Fast, I took a hot shower, ate chicken noodle soup and laid on the couch.  I was thinking that I was getting a stomach bug, so instead of pushing myself, I decided to get some rest and head it off at the pass.  It worked, because I am feeling much better today!  But, I feel really guilty!  It sounds so silly whee I say it that way, feeling guilty for resting when i don't feel good.  But, I also know that that is one way that I get lazy! I get out of the routine of working out, and eating well, and next thing you know I am up a couple of pounds!  To make it easier to get back into my work outs, I bought a new DVD!  Jillian Michaels 6 Week 6 Pack!  I plan to try it out today! And even though it is cold and rainy, I plan to get sweaty!

Feeling better.

But, I am afraid I may have picked up a stomach bug.  I am hoping my tummy is feeling bad from having lots of yummy picnic food, and not from a bug.  I guess time will tell on that one.  Yes, I went to a picnic yesterday, and yes I ate yummy food!  Holidays are free days in my book.  I will have to watch very carefully the next couple of days.  And get back to my work outs.  I only worked out twice last week since I was sick.  I weighed in at 195.4 today, so not too bad for how the last week went.  I am back on a normal diet routine again this week.  Hopefully my stomach will start feeling better, because I have no time to be sick again!  Here's to a good diet week!!!

Sick.

I hate being sick.  I really do.  I have too much to do in my life to rest.  And I have 2 kids, so rest really isn't an option.  I did not work out yesterday, and I ate more than usual, because I have been so light headed.  I was hoping that eating small portions through the day would help, but it didn't.  I am feeling better today, but not much.  I am still light headed, have a head ache and sore throat.  I don't think I will be able to work out today, but I plan to get back to my diet.  I weighed in at 194.2 today, still 2 pounds away from my goal.  Hopefully I will feel better next week, and be able to hit my goal.  Have a great holiday weekend!

A mess.

That's right, I am a mess.  I am still going, but I have realized that things are not going to be easy, ever.  My weight was slowing going down, as low as 194.  Then I had a day of "normal" eating at a Birthday party, and I ate a couple of peanut butter cookies, and we went out to dinner one night,  and I am right back up to 198!  I I think I was 196.8 today.  What the heck?!?  Most days I am okay with the fact that I am going to have to eat this way for the rest of my life, but some days it gets to me.  I love food!  I love to eat, and I love to go out and try new things.  I know that I have to go through months of very careful eating to lose the weight I want to lose.  And I am working out at least 40 minutes a day 5 days a week.  And it seems like I eat one extra bite and the scale blows up!  I know, I have had a rough week this week.  My son started Kindergarten, my husband went away for work, we had an earthquake, my mother has eye surgery, and I have my period on top of it all.  I am trying, I really am.  I am going to stay on track as much as possible.  I am going to keep working out.  I know that Sunday is going to be an "off the diet day."  Eric and I are going to go to Melt Bar and Grilled for lunch and then to my nephew's Birthday party.  The scale is going to hate me on Monday!

8 Calorie-Burning Myths Debunked

8 Calorie-Burning Myths Debunked

Very interesting article.  

Earthquake

Yesterday, I was in my first earthquake.  It was scary.  I was in my bedroom, Joce was in the living room, Perry was at school, and Eric was in North Carolina.  At first, I wasn't sure what had happened.  I just knew that I wanted to gather all of my family to me and not let go.  Eric texted me a couple minutes later, and said there had been an earthquake, and were we okay.  I wasn't sure until that minute if that is what had happened.  Joce had said, "Mommy, what happened?  House go shaky shaky!"  I looked online, and found that it was centered near my sister's house.  I called her immediately, but the cell towers were down.  That scared the hell out of me.  I did get ahold of her at the pizza shop, and was very relieved that they were okay, with minimal damage to the shop.  I then called Perry's school, and they hadn't felt anything and the kids were fine.  I called my mom and my brothers, and none of them had known anything had happened.  This has been a very emotional week for me, and that was Tuesday night!  Luckily, Eric will be home this afternoon, so hopefully things will get back to normal. 

I did eat 3 peanut butter cookies yesterday, but after the stress of the quake, and just the day in general, I think that was pretty good.  I am a very emotional eater, and holding myself to just that is a big improvement.  I did Jillian Michaels No More Trouble Zones.  I was happy that I did it, but it took a lot for me to get dressed and put the DVD in.  I felt much better for having done it.  My weight is up to 197 again.  Stupid cookies!  I did start my period yesterday, not an excuse, but may be part of it.  Here is to another day!!!

Digging the longer work outs!

It feels like I am going to die by the end, but I love it!  My body is changing, and I am feeling great!  My weight went up a little, but I am getting back on track.  I weighed in at 197 today, and I had been 194 before the weekend.  I splurged way too much the last couple of days.  It started with the birthday party on Saturday, and then we went out to dinner to commemorate my fathers death, and then Sunday I grazed at work on all the unhealthy stuff.  I made cookies for Perry's first day of school yesterday, and I ate 5 or 6 of them.  Yesterday was a rough day for me.  Perry took a bus to Kindergarten, and then I took Eric to the airport for a 3 dat business trip to North Carolina.   He is not a good flier, and was freaked out, and he succeeded in freaking me out.  The bus was late getting Perry home.  I ate cookies!  I did work out yesterday, so that is a plus.  I will get myself back on track today, and stay there!!!!

Good day at the zoo!

I took the kids to the zoo yesterday with some friends, and we had a great time!  The weather was perfect, the company was great, and the experience was top rate!  I packed us a lunch, and I stuck to my diet!  I have to admit, I had a moment while we were eating lunch and I smelled the burgers grilling that I really wanted to have one!  I finished my apple, and felt better for it!  We were there all day, so I didn't get a work out in, but then again, the zoo is a work out in itself!  I had the stroller, and Joce rode in it most of the time, so I had the extra resistance of her weight in the stroller.  I took fruit for me to eat, and had a Slim fast on the way there and on the way home.  With a little planning, I can do a great job, even when I am away from home!

I weighed in at 194.4 today!  Less than 2.5 pounds from my next goal!!  I am very happy about that!  I am looking forward to being under 190, too!  I used to lie about my weight, and said I was 185.  I don't think I ever weighed that!  I am feeling good, and starting to look better, and I am ready to take on the day!!!

Longer work outs.

I think that is going to be the key to me getting more weight off.  I was doing 20 minute work outs, but that doesn't seem to be doing the job.  I did a 45 minute work out yesterday, and it was long, but workable!  I have a few longer work outs, I will start using them more regularly.  Keeping on my diet is a must, and things should be falling into place!  I weighed in at 196.8 today, which is a big drop from yesterday.  I am right on track with my weekly weight loss to hit my goal right on time!  I just have to stay vigilant, and keep sweating it out!  Speaking of sweating, I did Jillian Michaels Banish Fat, Boost Metabolism work out.  Woo, it was a rough one!  It was great!  It was 45 minutes long, and worth every second!  I think that for my rewards for hitting my goals is going to be a new work out DVD!  I hit one goal, so I will figure out which DVD I want to get.  It may be 6 Week 6 Pack.  Again, I don't want anything under 30 minutes, and I think that one is 40 minutes or so.  Seeing the scale this morning was a good reinforcement, it will help keep me moving forward!!!!

Still plugging away, but not losing.

I am not real sure why I am not losing, because I am sticking to my diet and exercise plan.  I did really well at my mom's house.  I did have a couple brownies and a few cheese curls, but overall I did really well.  I worked out while I was there.  I weighed in at 198.8 today.  Sigh.  I did really well at work this weekend, too.  I had 5 or 6 french fries, but again, other than that I stuck to my diet.  Double sigh.

This is not going to discourage me!  My body looks different, so the working out is paying off.  Soon I will need to buy new pants, and getting into a size 10, which I have never in my life worn, is very motivating!  I am still motivated and dedicated, so I am hoping for a very successful week!

Doing well, but worried about the next couple of day...

I am going to my mom's for a couple days, and that is always a diet killer for me.  She stocks so much junk food, and eats so differently than I do, it is very hard not to go berserk.  Last time I was there I gained back the 6 pounds I had lost.  So, I have to be strong, and have a plan!  I asked her to get me Slim Fast, lots of fresh fruit, fat free creamer and Truvia.  That is most of what I need for the day.  I have to be careful about dinner, and snacking during the day.  I know I won't be able to work out on Wednesday, but I hope to one Thursday and Friday.  Maybe even try to get in a run!    I really hope that I can make it through without destroying what I have accomplished!  My will is strong right now, so I am confident that I can make it through!  My other worry is a purse party I am going to tonight, which is themed Treat's n' Sweets!!  Yikes!  I can behave!  I hope!

The scale was unkind today, 198.4, so that should help keep my mouth closed!  Again, I hope!  The good thing is that I am staying under 200, which is good.  I will get there, I will do it!

Healthy Appetizer: Parmesan Zucchini | Active.com

Healthy Appetizer: Parmesan Zucchini | Active.com

This recipe looks very yummy!  I am a sucker for fried zucchini myself, and this looks like it could hit the spot and be healthier for you!  

Still going strong!

Except for the sausage on toast and cookie last night, I had a great weekend!  I took lots of things to work to eat, and when I did eat from the kitchen, it was chicken and veggies with some teryiake sauce.  Then I came home and Eric had saved me some sausage from dinner.  I melted some cheese on it and ate it on toast, then chased it with a cookie.  A bit of a fail, but I am right back at it today.  Sadly, the scale agreed wit the fail, and said 199.2 today.  No worries, I am confident that it will go back down, and then go even lower!

I tried a new work out today, It was Jillian Michales 30 Day Shred Level 2.  I have been afraid to try it!  My friend told me she does Level 2 and 3 (gasp!) and I decided to give it a go.  I loved it!  It was hard, and I sweat like crazy!  I may never go back to Level 1!  I almost didn't work out because I walked the kids to the park and then had to carry Joce home, which is uphill, up more hill,  up stairs, and up another hill.  That was a work out in itself!  But I decided that the more calories I burn, the better, so I worked out, too!  Glad I did, I feel great!

Hit my first goal!

That's right, I was 197.8 this morning!  Woo Hoo!  I am so proud of myself!  I did it!  One goal down, 5 more to go!  My next goal is 192.  Not hard, I can do that!  I have been doing so well, I really am proud of myself.  Now, I have to work this weekend, so that will be a challenge.  I did really well at work last weekend, so I know that it is possible, I just have to plan and be aware of what and when I am eating. 

I did another disappointing work out yesterday, Jennifer Galardi's Get Up and Dance.  Somewhere along the way, I lost my groove.  I am going to do Jackie Warners Total Body Circuit today, to make up for the last 2 days disappointing work outs.  Here's to staying on track through the weekend!

Finally under 200!

That's right, the scale shocked me in a good way this morning, telling me that I am 198.6!!  Woo hoo!  Finally!  I really hate being over 200 pounds!  A couple more pounds, and I will no longer be in the "obese" category on the BMI Index!  Go me!

So I am pretty disappointed in my work outs yesterday and today.  Yesterday I did 20 Minute Sweat with Holly Perkins, and today I did Get Up and Dance with Jennifer Galardi.  Two trainers that I usually like, 2 work outs that I did not.  Live and learn, I will not do them again.  To make up for it, I plan to do Jackie Warner Total Body Circuit Training tomorrow.  That one always kicks my arse!  My eating has been really good, and I am not feeling like I am deprived or missing out.  Hopefully, this outlook will continue for a long time!

Back to where I was.

I am 201 even today, which is what I had been down to before I regained it.  So, here we go!!  I am actually really surprised, we went to Kennywood yesterday, and while I did not overindulge, I did not strictly follow my diet either.  I guess sweating like crazy all day burned it all off!  I was very proud of myself.  I did have Potato Patch fries, but I split an order with Eric.  I had an Italian hoagie, but I didn't eat half of the bun.  I had a sandwich, but not the chips with it.  All in all, a pretty good day!  I did not work out, since we would be there all day, but Joce sat in the stroller most of the day, so I did get some cardio in, pushing her up the hills!  Back to my regular routine today, and not unhappy about it!

I have to say, I am feeling very positive about it this time.  I think I am in the right frame of mind, and not trying to sabotage myself just for the sake of a cheat.  I can feel my body getting stronger, which is very motivating for me.  The scale is looking good, and I am excited to get where I want to be.  I know it is going to take a lot of work and dedication, but I really feel I am ready for it.  Here's to another good week!!!

Good weekend at work, for once!

I stuck to my diet so well at work this weekend, I really impressed myself!  The scale liked it, too 201.8 today!  I am hoping to hit my first goal of 198 by the end of the week.  I have to keep strong and stay motivated, and I can do it!  I discovered a new snack to eat at work, celery sticks dipped in salsa!  I don't like celery much, but I know it is good for you and a good snack to eat while dieting, and by eating it with salsa, also a great snack for dieting, it tastes much better.  I also like snacking on sliced cucumber at work.  I took fresh fruit, Slim Fast, and Lean Cuisine meals with me, so I had plenty to chose from when I got hungry.  I had the cook make me a diet friendly dinner last night.  It was sauteed, no oil or butter, asparagus, spinach, onions, artichokes, chicken and a hint of cheese, and I ate it in a whole wheat pita with lettuce.  It was spicy and delicious!  He is great for making diet friendly meals when I ask, and he makes such yummy things that I am satisfied and feel like I had a cheat!

I feel like I have turned a corner.  I can now say no to food I don't need to eat, but want to eat, and not feel like crying.  I can see how much I was overeating and not feel like I am torturing myself.  I know that I will not have to say no forever, but I also am understanding more that I need to constantly monitor what I am eating and why.  For now, while I am losing, I need to be strict.  When I hit my goal, I see that I cannot "eat normally."  I will always have to watch, but I will be able to indulge when I want to.  I am looking forward to this week, and optimistic.  We are going to Kennywood all day tomorrow, and I again plan to pack healthy things for me to eat, and allow for 1 splurge while I am there.  Here's to another successful week!!!

Good week so far!

I am back down to 201.6!  I was down to 201 even before I gained it back.  I am so close to being under 200 hundred that I can taste it!  Okay, bad play on words, but seriously, it is really motivating to be so close!  Hopefully I will hit my first goal of 198 by this time next week!  That will put me 1 pound under what I weighed when I graduated from college.  I can get there in the next week!  I can make it happen!

Yesterday I did Jackie Warner's 1-on-1 Lower.  I love squats, but I hate front and back lunges!  But, I know that they are necessary, so I do them.  I am sore everywhere, and that is good!  I am planning a longer total body work out for today.  I work all weekend, so I need to remember to take food with me, and not eat anything from there.  It will be hard, but being so close to being under 200 should help galvanize my resolve!  Here is hoping for a great weigh in on Monday!!!!

Still going...

I had another good day yesterday!  I weighed in at 203.4, so the scale is going in the right direction!  My eating was good, and I did Jillian Michaels 6 Week 6 Pack.  Wow, am I sore!  Today I am planning to do Jackie Warner's 1-on-1 Lower.  I am also planning an earlier than usual work out.  The kids and I are going on a play date at the park, that way I can get other things done after we get home.  I am in the process of cleaning and reorganizing the basement to make it into a play room for the kids.  I swear, the more I do, the more that needs done!  I have a bunch of baby stuff that I am giving away, but I have to wait until my brother and his wife have their ultrasound next month.  I will give them all the stuff for what they are having, and then give the rest to someone else.  As of right now, it is taking up a lot of space in my basement.  I may put it in the garage, but them I will have to reorganize that, too.  Oy.  Eventually, I will get it all done.  Just like my weight loss, I have to keep plugging away, even when I don't feel like doing it!

Two good days, let's shoot for 3!

Yesterday was another good day!  I weighed in at 204 even today.  I did a new work out yesterday, Tank Top Arms with Cindy Whitmarsh.  She is a beast!  My arms, shoulders, and core are nice and sore today!  I liked the work out, and I am going to look at some more of her work outs. 

I was emotional again yesterday, but I did not let it derail my diet.  Something I was thinking about yesterday was that I am never going to be able to eat like a "normal person" again.  Now, here is where I get into trouble.  I have to redefine normal for my life.  I made Eric egg salad to take in his lunches this week, and I really wanted to have one, too.  I had a Slim Fast.  I am never going to be able to eat "anything I want."  I am always going to have to watch what I am eating.  I have to realize that having sandwiches for lunch is probably going to be the exception, and not the norm.  And that is okay, since indulging all the time is how I had to come to this realization.  Something Cindy Whitmarsh said in the course of the work out struck me as interesting.  I can't remember it word for word, but basically she said that building muscle boosts overall metabolism, and will help burn more calories when you are at rest.  I have to make my body a more efficient machine, and diet and exercise are the way to do that. 

I am optimistic for today.  Let's keep the good days going!

Good day, let's hope for another!

My hormones seem to have evened out, and I am feeling much more like myself!  Yesterday was good!  I had a good work out, Chris Freytag, who is going on my list of favorite trainers!  My eating was good, too!  Isn't that the combo you need?  205.2 today.  Down a pound, so that is good.  I am backtracking again, so hopefully by the beginning of next week I will be back down and keep going down.  I saw a picture of a friend yesterday who had also been losing weight, and she looked so great!  I know that I am still down 40 pounds, but I feel like I still look big.  I have lost all my muscle tone, and am flabby everywhere again, so 40 pounds or not, I still feel fat.  And I am!  I am over 200 pounds, I am still fat!  But, the good news is that I am trying to do something about it.  And, one of these days, I can post a picture of myself in a beautiful dress, and look beautiful in it!

Starting over.

Back at the beginning.  Again.  206.2.  I can blame my period.  Which is part of it.  The biggest thing to blame is myself.  My will power, or lack thereof.  Okay, excuses are over.  I am starting over.  Here we go again!  I plan on a good hard work out this afternoon.  I have to work out everyday.  HAVE TO.  Not a choice.  Cleaning is not a substitute for working out.  I have to stop eating junk.  And overeating healthy things, too.  I don't know why I keep doing this.  Today WILL be a good day!!  I WILL do well today!

Having trouble staying motivated.

It's the beginning, I should still be super motivated!  I hate to say it, but I blame PMS.  I know, I know, trite!  Over-used!  Not able to be proved!  Here's the thing.  My husband got a vasectomy so that I could go off the pill because of all the problems I have with the pill.  So, I am having non-pill regulated cycles.  I forgot how hormonal I get, how bad the mood swings are, how bad the food cravings and the hunger are.  I think I am doing okay, but not nearly as good or strict as I would like/ need to be.  I also don't feel like working out.  I have been cleaning and reorganizing my basement, and I honestly would rather work on that than work out.  I know that that burns calories, but I really need to be working out.  I need to strengthen my muscles, and get in some cardio.I weighed in at 203.8 yesterday and today, so I am down a little.  I am going to keep trying, and keep moving!

Backpeddeling, as usual.

I am not sure why, but every time I go to my mom's, I feel like I must dominate an eating-fest.  I think it goes back to when I was a (heavy) smoker, but didn't want my mom to know, so instead of smoking I ate everything in sight.  I haven't smoked in over 6 years, but I still do this.  so, I was at ,my mom's for 3 full days, and work for 2, and I gained back the 5 pounds that I lost.  I snacked a lot yesterday, on healthy stuff, but still more than I usually do on a diet.  I am at 204.6 today, so down a little, and hopefully I can keep going down.  I am also about to start my period, so I have been having really strong cravings.  Again, I have to be very careful about what is going into my body, and hopefully I can get down more this week.  Here's hoping!

Made it through the weekend!

Work was hard, but I did very well!  I took lots of fruit and Lean Cuisine, and Slim Fast with me, so I was able to deflect most of my unhealthy eating patterns.  Yes, I did say most.  I did have a couple croutons dipped in Cesear dressing, and a couple bites of Chocolate Chip Banana Bread Pudding.  Overall, pretty proud of how well I did!  I have to say, I am glad that I ate the bread Pudding.  I always crave it.  Since my old GM left, someone else has been making it, and it is not nearly as good as Bob made it.  Now that I know that, I am going to be much much less likely to want it, or to eat it.

I weighed in at 202.8 today.  About the same as Friday.  I have to say, one thing that Eric and I do on weekends is make a big breakfast.  Eggs and either sausage or bacon.  I usually have cheese in my eggs.  They are my treat meals, and I am very careful the rest of the day, but since I am at work and moving the entire time I am there, I am much hungrier than during the week.  I am sure I consume more calories on the weekend, but I am holding steady with my weight. 

Today I did Jennifer Galardi's Cardio Blast again.  I really like that work out!  It is fun and challenging, and I sweat like crazy!  It uses a lot of balance and slow movements to work your core without doing crunches, and I love that!  I am going to my mom's tomorrow for a few days, including a cook out on Friday, so I need to be very careful while I am there.  Wish me luck!!

Doing things differently, and that's okay!

So, I have been craving Dairy Queen for the last couple of weeks, and haven't gotten it.  Yesterday, my darling husband comes home and announces to the kids that if they eat all of their dinner, we can go to Dairy Queen.  On the third day of my new diet.  Are you kidding me?!?  I seriously considered staying home while they went.  I did not want to miss that little bit of family time together, since we seem to get so little of it.  I ordered a small cone.  Not a medium Blizzard that I usually get, which cut a ton of fat and calories.  It was yummy!  I got to have a little treat, and didn't go totally overboard.  Something else I have realized about my dieting failures is that I seem to be an all or nothing personality.  If I cheat a little, I throw the whole day away and pig out, or I am so strict that I am miserable.  I also realized that when I do slip up, I won't eat anything healthy and keep eating junk, because I don't want to waste the healthy food on a bad day.  I have to be aware of this, and not sabotage myself over and over again.  Tonight we may go to Kennywood, and I fully intend to have a Hot Sausage sandwich, something I love and haven't had in years.  Because I know that I want to have that, I will be very careful about what I eat today.  Progress!!

Today, I weighed in at 202.2!  I am down 4 pounds!  Woo hoo!  I am proud of already accomplishing that much!  Today I did the Shake Weight for 4, 1 minute intervals, and I also did Jackie Warner's 1-on-1 Lower Body.  Still sore, and getting more sore as the minutes go on, and I love it!  I am working my muscles hard, and I am being rewarded for it! 

Tomorrow and Sunday will be a real diet challenge:  work.  French fries.  I am planning to take some Lean Cuisines, a Slim Fast and fresh fruit with me, that way I will have enough good choices available to that and should be able to avoid burgers and fries.  It is always best to have a plan!!!

I like my sore muscles!

I really do!  It shows me that I am working hard, and that my body is changing.  I weighed in at 204.4 today, already down a little over 2 pounds!  Very encouraging!  It kind of scares me that I was consuming enough calories that just cutting down for 2 days I lost that much.  Bad girl.  But, I am going to keep the calories down and the activity level up!  Today I did Cardio Challenge with Jennifer Galardi.I liked it, and I am going to look into more of her stuff.  I use a lot of Exercise TV On Demand, so I can keep my work outs varied.  I have some favorites that I do more often, but this way I can try new things and find new instructors that I like.  I hope you are all having as good a day as I am!!!

Great first day!

Yesterday went really well!  My eating was really good!  I went to Starbucks last night for Mom's Night Out with my MOPS group.  I really wanted a Mocha Coconut Latte and and oatmeal cookie, which is what I usually get, but I stuck to brewed decaf and used my Truvia and fat free creamer.  No treat.  It was fine.  I enjoy the conversations I have with my mom friends, so I didn't even miss all the extra fat and calories I could have consumed.  Although, I may make that a reward at some point, because I do love them, and I am not telling myself I can never have them again, but not as often as I would like to have them.  I am going to have to balance things like that.  Stuff that I like to enjoy occasionally,  but cannot go overboard with.  Generally, I don't have Starbucks very often.  That will be a treat for me, but not all the time. 

I got there early last night, so it gave me a chance to make up a chart.  I have 24 weeks to lose 36.6 pounds.  Funny that I started yesterday, a Tuesday, and picked my ending date as my husband's Birthday, Dec. 20, which is also a Tuesday.  As I said , I need to lose about 1.6 pounds per week to hit that goal date.  I wrote out every week, and what my weight needs to be to be on track for that goal.  I know that some weeks I will lose more, some weeks I will lose less, and I may hit a plateau or 2, but it will give me an idea of where I am at in the grand scheme of things.

I also want to make a rewards chart.  Give me something to work towards!  My first goal is, again, 198.  One pound below what I weighed when I graduated from Pitt.  The next one after that is 192, which takes me out of the obese range on the BMI Index.  It will also be my lowest adult weight.  The lowest I got before putting some weight back on was 192.2.  This will be a big one for me!  After that will be 185, and then go down in 5 pound increments.  If I hit my goal of 170 by my husbands Birthday, I will get jewelery for Christmas!!  And, I would like to go to The Cheesecake Factory for out anniversary on the 27th.  Lots to look forward to!

I weighed in today at 205.8.  Down a little from yesterday!!  My muscles are sore from my work out yesterday, and it feels good!  I did Holly Perkin's 20 Minute Sweat today, and I loved it!  I will definitely add it to my list of favorites!  I am still optimistic for hitting my ultimate goal!!! 

Back in the saddle again!

I know, it has been about 2 months since I fell off the health train, but I am back!  I have new goals!  My new goal is to weigh 170 by my husband's Birthday, Dec. 20.  I weighed 206.6 this morning, so I have a lot to get gone in a little less than 6 months.  Let's see, that is 36.6 pounds.  That means I need to lose a little more than 1.5 pounds a week for 24 weeks.  That is totally do-able!  I set my goal a little lower than it had been.  We will see when I get closer to the goal if I need to move it up or down, because technically, 170 is still overweight for my height.  If I hit my goal, I get jewelery!!!  Who doesn't love jewelery?!?  I am gong to set up an incentive chart.  The weight chart is going back up on the fridge.  I really want to do this.  Really!!!  I know, I have said it before, but at least I keep trying!

I have decided to go back to doing Slim Fast.  I know, I said I want to show my children how to make good food choices and not rely on something like Slim Fast, but it has been the only thing that has worked for me.  Again, I will start out with that, and reassess as I go.  I think the most important thing is my kids to see me fit, and working hard to be that way. 

I did Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred today, and my muscles already feel better!  I hate that I have lost all the muscle definition that I worked so hard for.  I hate that I had to use the 5 pound weights again.  The journey of a thousand miles starts with one step, so I have to take one step at a time, and work back into where I was 2 months ago.  I will get back there!  I still want to do a 5K.  I am going to get back to the Couch to 5K program, too.  I am excited to get back to working out.  I feel flabby, jiggly, fat and out of shape again.  Time to change!!  Here we go!!!

I like getting up early to run!

I did work out 1 for week 2 of the Couch to 5K program!  I was at the track at 5:55 a.m.  I did my run, and it went better than I expected.  I get home around 6:30, and Perry was asleep in my bed!  I wasn't home 2 minutes before I heard Joce start yelling from her bed.  I was hoping for a quiet cup of coffee before the kids got up, but not today.  I have already showered and gotten ready, and had my oatmeal.  The kids are about to get dressed and we are going to the library.  I think I am going to clean out the silverware drawer before we go!  I feel like I get so much accomplished when I go for that early run.  The track is quiet, and I like going there.  I weighed in at 200 again today.  I am not understanding why I am going up.  Okay, okay, yesterday was a terrible food fest, but it was before that.  I am eating well, and exercising.  I thought it might be water retention from having my period, but that is over and no weight loss.  I guess I will have to be ultra vigilant about my diet this week.  Problem with that is that the MOPS Brunch is Thursday, and I want to enjoy it.  The other days will have to be very strict.  I really want to kit 185 before vacation.  I am not sure it will happen.  I am very tempted to go back to Slim Fast.  It really worked for me last year.  I just really worry about my kids seeing me do that.  I don't want them to learn that from me.  I want them to see me being healthy, and making good choices.  Hopefully I can get back under 195 again this week.  I am thinking of doing a work out/ goals/ rewards chart today.  I will let ya know how that goes!

Still at it!

I am in my second week, and going strong!  I weighed 197.6 today, which is up a little from last week, but I am not discouraged!  I started Couch to 5k yesterday, and it was great!  I was able to complete the work out, and I felt really good afterwards!  I got up at 6 a.m. and went to the track at the high school.  I am glad I did it that way.  The track is flat, and is made of ground up tires, so the impact on my knees was minimal.  I plan to do the same thing tomorrow morning!  I did Jackie Warner Crunch-Free X-treme Abs.  It was good!  I am already feeling it!  I may have to buy that DVD.

My eating has been really good this week too.  I actually did well at work this weekend.  Saturday was great, Sunday, not so much.  Not one French Fry on Saturday!  I did have a couple on Sunday, but not a ton.  I did pick on Sunday, because I forgot my fruit.  That really is key for me at work.  I have to have that stuff to eat, so I don't pick at the bad stuff.  I am trying to be really good this week.  Sunday is Mother's Day, and I do not plan to restrict myself that day.  Not that I plan to go hog wild, (Okay, maybe I do a little!), but I want to enjoy the day with my family, and if a big breakfast and a cook out are on the menu, I plan to enjoy it!  So, until then, super, super strict!

Proud of myself!

We have the most obnoxiously large basket of Easter candy.  It looks so yummy!  All manner of candy that you can think of.  And I have not eaten one bite of it!  It is hard, I really want candy, but, so far, I have been able to resist!  I weighed in at 197.8, so I am doing something right!

I got up at 6 a.m. to do the exercise bike.  I did 5 miles in 20 minutes.  I feel good!  It is nice to start the day with a good workout, I am awake, and I have energy!  My plan is to get up at 6 to start running, but I need to get shoes.  I actually did buy shoes yesterday, but I think I may return them for something different.  We will see.  I have MOPS today, and I know that I will be tempted to have something not diet friendly, but I am hoping for some nice fresh fruit.  Sweet and healthy! 

I think I over-did it today.

But, that's okay, right?!?  I walked/jogged to pick Perry up from school today.  I haven't done any sort of jogging in a long time, so my legs were already feeling it!  I did a work out, too.  I thought I had gotten Jackie Warner X-treme Crunch-less Abs.  Makes sense, right?  I jogged, so doing an ab intensive work out would not work my legs as much.  Well, the DVD I have is actually Jackies' X-treme Timesaver Training.  A full body routine.  My calves are still burning, and feeling a bit spasmy!  Oh, well.  Lesson learned!

I ate really well yesterday!  I was pretty proud of myself.  I weighed 199 today, so happy to be back under 200!  So far, my eating has been really good today, too.  I really wish I could have more than 2 servings of fruit a day.  I understand, fruit has a lot of natural sugar, and that means a lot of carbs.  I just really like fruit, and wish I could have more of it during the day.  I have to say, though, the Easter candy we have is really tempting me.  I haven't caved yet, but we have soooo much, it is going to be in my face for a long time.  Since I can have 2 treat meals on the weekends, I think I will let myself have a piece if I eat well at work.  If I don't eat well at work, no candy.  We will see!

Trying to get back into the groove.

I have slacked off for the last month and a half.  It started off with being sick, and spiraled down from there.  It is scary how easy it is to get out of the habit and backslide.  I am back to 203 pounds.  I am ashamed of myself.  People keep telling me how great I look, and I hate hearing it.  I feel awful, and I feel like I look awful.  I know I look better than I did a year ago, but I don't look as good as I did 2 months ago.  My friend tells me I should learn to take a compliment, but I don't deserve them.  Maybe if I get back into the swing of dieting and exercising, I will be more graceful about it, but not right now.  So, I gained back the 12 pounds that I lost this year.  Stupid.  Lazy. Time to get myself together, and get moving!  I have 9 weeks until vacation, and my goal was 175.  That is 28 pounds, instead of the 16 it would have been if I hadn't gained back the weight.  That is a little over 3 pounds a week.  Doable?  Impossible?  I guess we will find out!

I have been eating really well today, despite the giant basket over flowing with candy in my kitchen.  I did Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred.  I have been cleaning almost nonstop, and I still have the grocery shopping to do.  Good start to this!  I am going to try to be better.  I am really going to try to get this done!  I am going to try to start running at 6 a.m.  I want to try the Couch to 5K program.  I need to get a stopwatch for that, and I would like to get a new pair of running shoes.  I am optimistic!  I really want to do this!!!!

Almost to my second goal! Again!

I weighed in at 192.6 today, which is about the lowest I have been (192.2 was the lowest).  Sadly, I gained and then had to lose again and again to get back to this point.  But, I am here again!  I was hoping to hit 192 by the weekend, so as long as I am good the next couple of days, I should get there!  Eating well and working out will get me where I need to be, and I am so motivated to get there!  My next goal is 185.  I want to be there by the time I go visit my sister, which is the third week of April.  That is 7 pounds in a month, and I really think that I can get there if I put my mind to it!  The goals will go in 5 pound increments after that.  I want to get to 170.  I wanted to get there before vacation, but I am not sure that I can.  If I hadn't fallen off the wagon so badly and for so long, it would have been easy.  But, no point in beating myself up over it, just need to buckle down and get it done!  The sun in shining today!  It really makes me feel better to see the sun.  It is supposed to go to 61 degrees today!  We may be able to get outside and play today!

Getting better at this!

Okay, last week went really well for my diet and exercise plan!  I am down to 194.8.  That is about 2.5 pounds away from my second goal of 192.  I would really love to hit it this week!  Yesterday was a good day, and today is going well so far!  I had a really good day at work on Saturday, but not as well on Sunday.  Damn Girl Scout cookies!  I took fruit and my whole grain lavash bread with me, and that worked out really well.  I snacked on cucumbers and carrot sticks, and ate my fruit.  I had the cooks make me grilled chicken and veggies with no oil or butter for the afternoon, and had a turkey or ham on lavash in the evening.  Lots of water, too!  I really am still figuring things out, and getting better at it!  I just have to keep the emotional eating in check, and keep moving!

A good start to the week.

My diet was so good yesterday!  I didn't eat bad food, I actually under ate.  The scale was happier today, 197.8.  Amazing how 1 day of eating well can show you how bad your bad eating days are.  I tried on my capri's today from last summer.  They are baggy, but They should be way too big by now.  I should be doing much better, but I keep screwing myself up.  I am feeling positive again today.  I did Holly Perkins Fitness 360 Total Tone.  Just ate my eggs with reduced fat feta cheese and fresh spinach.  So yummy!  And Jocelynn loves it, too!  I think she is ready to go down to one nap a day, which may cause some hiccups with my work outs.  Hopefully, it won't.  Today was good, I got my work out and shower.  Looking forward to another healthy day!

Broken record, again.

It's Monday!  I ate like crap all weekend!  My scale yelled at me this morning!  So, of course, it is time to hear my speech about re-committing to my diet, about being positive, and sticking to my resolutions.  Kinda hearing blah, blah, blah from me right now, huh?  Yeah, I hear it too.  But, I did Jillian's Shred It With Weights.  I know, that's a rough one for a Monday Morning!  That was my plan.  No easing into it.  Hit it full tilt, and head on.  Bring to pain!  Feel the burn!  And all that good stuff.

So, I think the scale said 202.8 today.  I was so shocked at my dismal failure that I jumped off the scale with my eyes closed.  I believe there may have been a shriek too.  Why do I let myself do this?!?  I really want to get on track, and stick to my guns.  I am excited that I am able to eat pork again.  That means that I have a lot more options for protein choices.  Woo hoo!  Hopefully, this week will be better than last, and that I can do what needs to be done.  Wish me luck!

Wish my emotions didn't get the better of my diet.

So, I have been stressed out lately.  I didn't realize how much the stress was getting to me until yesterday.  I burst into tears while watching Top Chef and shoveling Chicken-In-A-Biscuit crackers into my mouth like they would disappear if I didn't eat them fast enough.  I wish that the stress I feel didn't get the better of me.  I ate so horribly yesterday.  I had to take Jocelynn for antibiotic allergy testing yesterday.  I wasn't sure if they were doing full allergy testing or not, thankfully not, but the thought of my not quite 2 year old baby having to go through that was awful.  There are other things on my mind to, but I don't want to get into all of it here.  The point is, I should concentrate harder on getting into better physical shape for my kids, instead of showing them emotional eating.  I am going to try to stick harder to my diet during times of stress, instead of making things harder for myself.  Eating bad makes me feel bad.  Eating good makes me feel good.  Simple concept, really.  Now to put it into practice.

On a positive note, I am pretty sure that I can eat pork again!  I have eaten it 3 times and not had a reaction!  This is so awesome!  I can make pork chops again!  And ham!  So many more healthy protein choices!  I was really get tired of poultry!  And I only make red meat about once every 2 weeks, so this is huge! 

Today I weighed in at 197.8.  Up a bit, but still down from when I started.  I did Jillian Michaels No More Trouble Zones today.  Rough work out, and I love it!  m

I didn't eat the cookie!

I went to Starbucks last night for Mom's Night Out.  I really, really, REALLY wanted an oatmeal cookie.  They are so good!  I did not get it!  I was pretty proud of myself, because I was feeling pretty stressed out, and that is when I always eat bad stuff.  I had coffee, the first one with Pumpkin Spice flavoring, which is probably loaded with sugar, but I got a medium.  My second I had wit fat free creamer and Truvia.  I think I did pretty well!  The diet went fairly well yesterday.  I did have a hoagie and chips for dinner.  I weighed in today at 196.8.  Lost another pound!  Today I did Bridal Bootcamp.  Great arm work out.  I find all the things I am doing have a lot of the same moves, and I really want to switch it up more.  Hopefully I will find a good mix. 

Here's to another good day!

I re-hit my first goal!

I weighed in at 197.8, so I am below my first goal again!  My next goal, which I have come very close to but not actually hit, is 192.  That's 5 more pounds, I think I can do that pretty quickly if I stick to my routine.  My diet went really well yesterday.  I think I may have not eaten all of my groups, which is okay.

I am planning my meals carefully, so That I don't get into a rut, because that will make me more likely to cheat.  Lunches are the biggest problem.  I hope that I can make things interesting enough and varied enough that I don't get bored.

I also think I need to find some new work outs.  I have realized that my work outs are kind of similar.  I really can't wait until the weather gets better so I can get out and do more active stuff through the day.  I have some new work out DVD's to try coming from the library.  That should be fun!

Today I did Bridal Body Burn with Violet Zaki.  What a fun work out!  There is a lot of balancing you have to do, which is good because it is something I need to work on!  I am feeling pleasantly shady right now!  While I don't really car about how I look in my wedding dress, since I have already worn it and it would be too big, I did find her comments on being in a bikini on the beach were very motivating!  There are a few different work outs in her Bridal Body series, and I look forward to trying them! 

Time to hear all the re-commiting babble again!

Okay, so this weekend my mom and I decided that we are going to go visit my sister in 2 months.  Woo Hoo!  I am very excited!  She lives in Virginia, and the weather is much better there in April than it is here.  So, I will need to pack shorts and carpi's. Here is the challenge: can I lose 20 pounds between now and then?!?  It breaks down to about 2.5 pounds per week, which is not overly ambitious.  I have put a couple pounds back on, weighed in at 200.2 today, so I would actually like to lose 25, but let's see how that goes!

I have let the potato chips and french fries get the best of me again.  I need to make a better plan for work.  I need to take food with me so that I have something to eat, and I don't graze on the fries and tortilla chips, and soup.  I hate to sound redundant, but I will do it!  I will try harder, and I will work out harder, and I will eat better!  Then, if I can get to that goal, I will have 10 to 15 pounds left to go when we go on vacation.  I really am cutting it close now, so there can be no more slipping up. 

On another note, Eric bought me a dress.  A pretty dress!  I was so surprised!  I never wear dresses any more.  I used to have great legs, and I wore skirts most days, and the shorter the better!  I loved to show off my legs.  Once, I actually caused a car accident.  A guy was checking out my legs so much that he rear ended the car in front of him!  There days, my legs are not so pretty.  I am very self conscious about them, especially since I have some bad varicose veins on my left leg.  I asked why he bought me a dress.  He said it was because I only buy myself clothes on the clearance rack, and I deserved to have something pretty to wear.  That is seriously one of the sweetest things anyone has ever said to me.  I love my husband, and I love the support he gives me!

So, what am I going to do differently this time to stick to the plan better?  I need to make what I eat more interesting.  I am getting better at that.  Something that Jackie Warner said in her book is counterproductive.  She said she makes a smoothie that is one protein, one veg and one fruit out of the way, and she takes her oatmeal and a veg during the day like a vitamin to get them out of the way.   That doesn't sound like she is enjoying her food.  I love food, and I love to eat, which is part of my problem!  I want to enjoy what I do get to eat, so I am trying some new things and combinations of food.  I do wish I was allowed more fruit during the day, I would much rather snack on fruit than veggies, but again, I need to be more interesting with my veggie choices. 

So, here is to a new beginning, and a better result!

Boy, I get side tracked easily.

It's a nasty downward spiral when I make a bad choice, I just keep making them.  It's like I can't stop myself!  I kinda hate that about myself.  But, I am doing well so far today, and I did Jillian Michaels Shred It with Weights.  I really do love that work out!  It is rough, and I feel so good after I do it.  Hopefully, my food choices will keep up with that.  Then again, the BBQ chips are gone, so that helps!  My weight was 198.2 today.

So, no one has read this in a month, and all of a sudden the other day I had 17 hits.  I was all geeked that people might actually be reading my blog!  All of the traffic came from Google, which was surprising.  After thinking about it for a day or 2, I realized the name of that particular entry had the phrase "fat ass" in it.  I think that that entry got so many hits because people were looking for fat ass porn.  Fail!

Getting back on track.

I am getting back on track, finally!  I ate really well yesterday, and did some good work outs!  Yes, plural!  I went grocery shopping last night, and got some good clean food to eat this week.  I weighed in at 198.8 today, which I think is a 2 pond loss.  Woo hoo!  I am trying to make sure my diet is varied and interesting.  I just had hummus, grilled chicken and spring mix on a whole grain pita.  It was very tasty!  Yesterday, I had 2 eggs scrambled with peppers, onions, and 1 ounce of pepper jack cheese on a whole grain pita.  Both were really good! 

I did Jackie Warner Total Body Circuit today!  Yikes, it was hard!  It really is amazing how quickly you can lose all the strength and endurance you have gained in such a short time.  Even if I am not following the diet, I have to keep working out consistently, and working out hard!  That is going to benefit me so much more than slacking off for a week or two.  Them I have to work back up to where I was.  I lose a lot of ground that way, and I have to stop sabotaging myself.  I love the way my body feels strong when I am working out, and I hate how lazy and sloppy I feel when I am not.  I am down to 4 months to vacation, and I want to lose another 30 pounds, I cannot keep slacking off if I want to meet that goal.  I am so looking forward to spring, when I can get outside and be more active.

By the way, no one has read thins in the last month, and today I have had 17 hits.  Wow!  Welcome to my blog, new readers!  Feel free to leave a comment!

I have hit obese proportions again.

Yikes, 200.6 pounds today!  I have gained back the 8 pounds that I lost.  I kinda suck.  I have known that I was eating horribly and not working out much, and I just couldn't get myself to stop.  I "took a week off" from my plan.  Then it became two.  The longer it went on, the worse I got.  Time to kick my own a$$ for being so dumb.  Oy.

Okay, having said that, I just finished working out, and I plan to go out and shovel snow this afternoon.  Not one or the other, both!  I am back to the diet plan.  I cleaned out the fridge today, so I have nice clean drawers and shelves to put nice clean food!  I just ate oatmeal and strawberries for breakfast, and used the Truvia and fat free creamer in my coffee.  So, I am back to my first goal again, which is 198.  A little over 2.5 pounds.  I can do it again!  I can be strong!  I will do better!

Snow Sucks.

I really hate winter!  I hate snow, and cold, and the general icky-ness that the weather makes you feel.  I shoveled snow for about 40 minutes today.  I was sweaty and tired!  At least I can get some sort of outdoor work out.  I weighed in at 192.2 today!  So close to mt goal of 192!  And I have to say, this was a hard won goal.  I have been feeling hungry and deprived the last couple of days.  It has been really hard to stick to the diet plan, but I am proud to say that I have done it!  Not one cheat!

I have to wonder about my husbands weight loss.  He has lost almost as much as I have.  He eats a salad for lunch, whatever I make for dinner, including the starch I make mostly for the kids which I do not eat myself, and then he eats junk.  Chips, cracker, snack mix, etc.  And he does no exercise.  None.  How is he doing as well as I am?!?  It makes no sense.  Why do I have to work so hard, while it is so easy for him?!? 

I also want to say that I am really happy I tried the supplements that Jackie Warner recommends!  The Fish Oil has completely changed my skin!  It is clear, and balanced, and has honestly never looked to good!

Pushing through the exhaustion.

I cried during my work out today.  That's normal, right?!?  I don't sleep well.  I have trouble falling asleep, and trouble staying asleep.  It sucks.  Since I worked a little longer this weekend, I am more tired than usual.  I pushed myself hard during my work out, and I was able to do more of some of the things I can't usually do, but I cried.  I am so tired.

I am disappointed in my weight.  I was 195.4 this morning.  What?!?  I know that my weight usually drops quickly then goes up a little, then goes back down, and the cycle continues.  I just feel like I am getting more toned and more flabby at the same time.  I did really well eating clean yesterday.  I am getting the kinks worked out, and getting more ideas for meals.  I made a really good pasta sauce last night.  I couldn't eat much of the pasta, so I bulked up the sauce with chicken, low fat cottage cheese and spinach.  So good!  I am going to keep posotive, and keep pushing myself.  I will do this!!!

First week went well!

I made it through the first week!  And, idiot that I am, didn't weigh myself this morning!  I weighed 194.4 yesterday, so I will go with that!  I think I need to rearrange what I am eating and when.  I have been waiting until after my work out to eat, which means I don't have breakfast until around 11 a.m. and I am starving by then.  I usually have oatmeal with berries and 2 hard boiled eggs.  I think I need to eat the eggs earlier, and have the oatmeal as a snack, and then have lunch a little later.  I need to have more options than salad for lunch, or at least different things for the salad, because salad gets old quick!  I may try doing 2 ounces of tuna, I chopped hard boiled egg, and mix it with 1 tablespoon of light Ranch dressing to do kind of a tuna salad fake out.  That sounds like it would be good over baby spinach!  I also had a brilliant idea the other day.  I always complain that I can't make fish because I am the only one who eats it.  Well, Duh!!  I can have it for lunch instead of dinner!  Gorton's makes 4 oz. fillets that have yummy seasonings that are low lat that are tasty!  I am looking forward to what I may discover this week!

I did Jillian's 30 Day Shred today.  I am proud of myself for doing it, because I am exhausted and not feeling great.  I feel better for having done it.  Go me!

I am no longer obese!

I weighed in at 193.6 today!!  I am I am now in the overweight range, and safely out of the obese range!  I am so excited, I have not been at this weight in a very long time!  I love this diet plan, and I love working out, and I know I can do this! 

I bought a new winter coat yesterday.  I love it!  It is a dark gray wool fitted pea coat.  I feel pretty in it.  It is pretty!  I have been making a conscious effort to look nice.  I wear makeup everyday, and I have started straightening my hair everyday, and I try to wear nice clothes everyday.  I have been wearing a 7 year old mens size large painters jacket.  I looks terrible.  I feel fat and frumpy when I wear it.  Unfeminine.  I love my new coat, and I think my new purse will look great with it, too!  I talked to Eric about him yelling at me for buying the purse.  He said that he wanted me to buy new clothes so that I will feel better about how I look.  He doesn't like it when I complain about wearing clothes that are too big or are hand me downs.  His heart is in the right place, but he needs to work on his technique.

I did Jillian Michaels Shred it with Weights today.  I am pleasantly sore from yesterday, and am feeling todays work out already!  I am seeing more muscle tone everywhere.  One of my biggest goals is to be able to wear sleeveless shirts and be proud of how my arms look in it.  I have always had flabby upper arms, and have always been to self-conscious to go sleeveless.  I still have flab, but there are muscles there too.  One step at a time!!

Loved my work out!

I have had crazy busy days the last 2 days, and didn't get a work out in.  Today, I did Jackie Warner Total Body Circuit, and it felt so good to sweat!  I am still feeling shaky, and I like that too!  I weighed in at 195.4 today!!  That is my lowest weigh yet, and I am down 11.10 pounds since January 1st!  I am really enjoying this diet plan, and I had another good day yesterday!  It feels like the pounds are melting off, and I am so relieved that I found something that works for me!  I know what I need to do to hit my goals, I just have to stay focused and keep pushing through it. 

So, I am a bit upset about something.  I went shopping last night for new pajamas.  Eric keeps making fun of how big and shapeless my pajamas are, and he is right.  I really don't need to be wearing mens XL sleep pants and t shirts.  So I went to Target with ever intention of spending $50 on new pj's.  I felt awful in everything I tried on.  Flabby.  Frumpy.  Not good.  So, I found a really cute purse and wallet, and I bought those.  Eric was pissed!  Are you kidding me?!?  I never buy anything for myself.  Most of the clothes I have a old, too big, and hand me downs.  Purses always look good, and I feel good carrying them.  At least it is one thing on me that makes me feel like I look pretty and stylish.  And he yelled at me.  I felt even worse than I had before.  I am proud of myself for losing the weight, but I still don't feel like I look good in clothes.  Something I am still working on.

Officially started the diet plan!

Day One went really well!  I ate clean, even when faced with ordering in a restaurant!  Actually, I didn't eat enough yesterday.  I didn't get to work out either, but I did clean the basement for an hour and a half, so I was moving.  I weighed in at 196.4 today!  That is the lowest I have been so far!!  Woo hoo!  Again, I am so optimistic, and I really think that this is going to work for me!

We had a showing on our house, but it was a no.  Oh well, hopefully things will pick up soon!  We went to see a house in Bethel Park yesterday, but it was a no, too.  I am going to see another one soon.  Keeping my fingers crossed on all fronts!!!

Last 2 days....

So, i am officially starting the diet phase on Monday.  I Think I went a little sugar crazy the last couple days!  Eric had his surgery yesterday, and everything went well.  He is feeling better today, and I have to work, so he better be!  He asked me to make him No Bake Cookies for his recovery.  I did.  I also make oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, because it has been years since I have had an oatmeal cookie, which have always been my favorite.  I have eaten almost all of them!  Bad, Kristin, bad!!!  I allowed myself to do it, basically to get it out of my system.  I feel like I can go into the diet and feel good about it, feel more ready to do it, and not already feel deprived.  Good logic?  Not sure about that one, but we will see.

I weighed in at 200 today.  Not a surprises, considering all the cookies I have eaten.  I bought a diet journal, and I am so excited about it!  The cover is blue with purple lettering, and it says "What the world needs now is shoes, sweet, shoes."  It has an elastic place marker, and a pocket in the front.  It is the best notebook ever!  Jackie says to keep a food journal, and I figured I should get on that I love!  I am looking forward to using it, to help me see what exactly I am eating, how many servings I am getting, and what is or is not working for me.  I am really excited! 

I had to buy new pants for work because we are not allowed to wear jeans anymore.  I bought the same pants that I wore at Max and Erma's, but they are 2 sizes smaller!  Okay, I admit, they are a little snug, but that is so I remember to stick to my diet and exercise plan.  I also bought a few new t shirts, too, and again they are a little snug, but I hope that by the time the weather gets warmer, they will be perfect!!!!

Goal One: Reached!

I weighed in at 197.6 today!  I am now below the weight that I was when I graduated from PITT!!!!  I feel pretty good about it!  Time to go make up shopping!  Now, to decide on my second goal.  195 seems to easy, and 190 seems to long.  How about 192?!?  I think that sounds good, and then the next one will be 185, which was my goal for my Birthday.  Then I will go in 5 pound increments.  Now, I have a plan!

I did not work out yesterday.  My headache got worse.  I actually laid down while Jocelynn took her nap.  I felt terrible.  I felt a little around dinner time, and I took a hot bath to soak my aches from when I fell.  I felt a lot better by bed time.  I am planning an afternoon workout again today.  I am going to shower tonight, I have to take Eric in for surgery early in the morning.  Sadly, we are closing the Bowser Baby Factory for good.  I am conflicted about that.  We don't have the room or the money to have another baby, and I understand that.  I just never thought I would only have 2 kids.  I always thought I would have 5.  Haha, that was before I had one!!!  I really am okay with it, but now that it is here, it is kind of sad.  I am blessed with 2 healthy, happy children, and they are my world.  I am okay!

Snow day.

School was cancelled today.  We got a lot of snow.  I hate snow.  I don't think I will ever be able to say that enough times.  I did not work out this morning because I have a throbbing headache.  I am hoping it is gone by the time Jocelynn takes her afternoon nap so I can do it then.  Working out with a headache is the worst.  Either way, I will work out this afternoon.  I fell on the ice yesterday, and my back and neck are bothering me.  I went to the chiropractor yesterday, so it could be much worse, but that may be causing the headache.  I went straight down on my ass.  I was holding Jocelynn at the time, and she landed on top of me, luckily she wasn't hurt at all.

I weighed in at 198.4 today.  Almost hit my first goal!  I think I did fairly well with the diet yesterday, but my plan for dinner changed because my mom unexpectedly spent the night.  I don't know if what I made exactly followed the rules, but I think it was close! 

Holy hockey pucks!

I forgot how hard and intense Jillian Michaels No More Trouble Zones work out is!  I am still shaking and sweating after my shower, which was also hard after that work out!  I feel strong!  I am also noticing more muscle forming all over my body.  None in my belly, but I did have 2 babies, so that may take some time!  Honestly, I am feeling skinny today.  My pants look good, I am wearing a striped shirt that doesn't make me look like I have rings orbiting Planet Me. It's a good feeling!

I got a new scale yesterday, and I weighed in at 199.2.  I did really well planning my diet yesterday.  I am trying to be very careful today, I am planning burger and roasted potatoes for dinner.  Last night I portioned out a one pond bag of almonds into 1 ounce servings so I won't over eat when I want them as my fat for the day.  I think I am going to be able to do this diet, as long as I continue to plan ahead, and be sensible about what I am eating.  I am so optimistic!  I really think this can work for me!!!

I did it!

I tried oatmeal, and no reaction!!!  I am so excited by this, you have no idea!  I love oat meal, and I can eat it again!!!!  WOO HOO!!  I have also learned that I love fresh blueberries in my oatmeal!  Yumm-o!  Next up: trying pork.  I am afraid of this one.  The few times I have accidentally eaten it, I have had major migraines that I couldn't do anything about.  I will wait a little while for that one, mostly because I am scared!

I tried a new work out today, Piloxing with Vivica Jensen.  It was fun!  I know that I got a good cardio workout, and my legs were burning, and I got a good sweat on!  My trunk is already feeling a bit sore, and I think I will add this into my routine.  It made me realize how clumsy I am!  There are dance aspects to it, and I felt ungainly doing some of it, but graceful during some of it too.  Maybe after doing it for a little while, I will regain some dancer's grace, if that is possible for me!!

I weighed in at 201 today.  I ate cake yesterday.  And chicken salad with regular mayo.  I will try to stop doing things like that at work, but sometimes when I am really hungry, grabbing something like that is fast and satisfying when I don't have a lot of time.  Always a work in progress!  This is still technically a detox week, but I am going to try to stick to the diet plan as well as I can, kind of a dry run.  Work out the kinks a bit!  My jeans are fitting better than they did last week, and my arms have more muscle tone.  So do my quads, as a matter of fact!  I have to buy new pants for work this week.  Pants shopping is always an ordeal, but I am kind of anxious to see what size I will buy.  Stay tuned for that one!!!   

Glad it's Friday!

Whew!  I made it through the first five days of working out again!  I feel great!  I weighed in at 199.5 today!  I love that it is under 200, I really hate seeing that number on the scale!  Today, I did Jackie Warner Total Body Circuit.  Boy, it is rough, and it really makes me sweat!  Sweat is good! 

I finished reading the diet portion of Jackie's "This Is Why Your Fat," and it is a good thing I did!  I had the concept of the eating plan so backward!  I have a much better grip on it now, and am really looking forward to getting into it full scale.  I am in the 2 week pre diet portion, which is adding specific food and supplements to your diet.  It is going to take a little more planning than I am used to, but it will be okay.  Foe example, you are allowed to have 1 thing from the detox fats group, which is 2 tablespoons of olive oil, OR a quarter cup of nuts or seeds.  I love having almonds as a snack, but will not be able to do that if I need to use olive oi\l for dinner.  I think it is good to plan, though.  I am also allowed to have whole grain tortilla and pitas, so that makes for a nice lunch option, but if I eat oatmeal for breakfast, I can't have a third carbohydrate for dinner.  I have one more week of the pre-diet stuff, then into the clean eating phase, so I have a little more time to plan.  I know I have had a great week, I hope you did too!

The soreness is finally abating.

Yes, the I-just-started-working-out-again-and-can't-move-at-all soreness has gotten better.  I am still sore, but can move normally again!  Today I did The 30 Day Shred again.  I try to do the shorter work outs when Perry is home because he can't seem to leave me alone to work out!  Silly kid.  I weighed in at 201 even today.  I am starting to see some muscle definition again.  Not nearly as good as it was, but getting better!  I am already sleeping better, and feeling more energetic during the day.  I really wish I hadn't let myself get so complacent for so long.  I could be so much further along right now!  I hope that is will serve to remind me in the future to keep myself on track. 

I am only a couple of pounds away from my first goal.  I need to think of a reward for myself.  I got a gift card from Ulta for my birthday, so some new make up may be it!  I want to wait to buy new clothes until i get closer to my overall goal.  Have I said what that is?!?  I would like to weigh 170 by June, which is when we are going to the beach.  New summer clothes will be fun to buy!! 

I didn't get to try oatmeal yesterday, and I have hives on my leg again today, so I am hoping for tomorrow!  Maybe is I take a Benedryl tonight, it will clear up whatever I am reacting to.  Wish me luck!

I am awesome!

Jillian told me so!  I have said it before, and I will say it again, I love her pep talk at the end of Shred It With Weights.  To paraphrase her, getting healthy is a journey, and continuing to work out is part of it.  I was so sore from yesterday that I was really feeling like doing something easy.  I told a friend I would lend her the DVD tomorrow, so I made myself do it.  Yes, I was sore, and no, it was not easy to work through the soreness, but I did it!  I am proud of myself today!!  My weight was the same as yesterday, and that is okay.  It was a big drop the first day, so I am okay with staying the same. 

I am still getting used to the foods I am eating.  I wanted to try eating oatmeal today to see if I am still allergic to it, but, alas, I have traveling hives today.  Maybe I can try tomorrow.  I was excited, I hound a reduced sugar flavored oatmeal with only 5 grams of sugar.  We will see!!!

Wow, am I out of shape!

But, that is okay, I am going to fix that!  I did Jackie Warner's Total Body Circuit.  I haven't worked out in a month, and it is amazing how fast you can lose all the momentum, and achievement, that you worked so hard for.  I sweated like crazy, I really felt the burn, and I am feeling sore and shaky.  I love it!  I love feeling sore, it makes me know that I pushed myself, that I worked as hard as I could.

I weighed in at 201.5 today.  The diet is going well, and I am still figuring out how to eat. what to eat, and when, so that I am not hungry and cranky.  I will get it figured out, and I will make it work for me!!! 

I decided that I may buy a piece of goal clothing.  I think it may be a bathing suit, and I think I will hang it on my refrigerator.  That would give me a great visual for not cheating!!!  I also think Eric and I are going to buy a piece of exercise equipment.  I think the best idea is a combo bike and elliptical trainer.  Eric wants a bike, I want an elliptical trainer, seems like a win-win!  I am going to go look at it today.  I also think I am going to buy Jackie Warner's book, so I always have it to refer to.  My attitude is still positive, so I am going to roll with it!

Of course I made a New Year's Resolution to get healthy!

It is that time of year to make those resolutions!  I am trying to get back on track.  Since it is a new year, I have a big goal.  We are going on vacation in the end of June, so by the time we leave for vacation, I would like to weigh 170 pounds.  Today I weighed in at 206.5.  Yikes!  I gained 6 pounds over the holidays.  Not good.  But, I am optimistic.  Last year I lost 30 pounds.  I can do it again this year!  I am going to go about it in a different way, though.  Why, since I did lose thirty pounds, would I do something different.  The same reason I do everything: my kids.  Last year I did Slim Fast.  Perry wondered why I got to have chocolate shakes, and I made him eat good, healthy food.  Try explaining that to a 4 year old. 

I have been reading Jackie Warner's book, This Is Why Your Fat.  Her plan adds more food to your diet, but it is what you eat that is important. She doesn't allow sugar or processed flour, milk or dairy products during the wee, and you can have 2 cheat meals on the weekends.  She also has certain vitamin supplements to help detox your body and regulate your system.  She says you should eat 2 eggs a day.  I can do that!  I just scrambled 2 eggs with pepper and Buck's Seasoning, and boy, it was much better than Slim Fast!!  I plan to have salads for lunch, with lots of veggies and fruit, and snacking on veggies, fruits, and almonds.  Dinner will be lean proteins and veggies.  I want my kids to see me making good food choices, so they will learn to make good friend choices. 

And, of course, I will be getting back into my workout routine.  I did Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred today.  It felt great!  I was disappointed by how out of shape I have let myself become.  I am taking responsibility for it.  I will be more diligent.  I will work as hard as I can, everyday.  Okay, most days, let's be honest.  I am ready to do this!

First goal, 198, again, one pound under what I weighed when I graduated for PITT!!!!